30 Apr 2011

Twat Of The Week

Better late than never, here is a special Easter Twat Hunt. Happy hunting kids!

Poor bunny doesn't look happy at all does he?!

29 Apr 2011

World Peas

As John once said... give peas a chance.

What Did You Eat Today?

Haitians are having to feeding their children dirt cookies to survive. DIRT cookies.
That is fucked up.

Seriously fucked up.

26 Apr 2011

Jim Jefferies On Religion

This guy's a bit brutal, but he is good. Yes, he is going over well-trodden arguments, but he does it well. Those who agree and are in the 21st century may be interested to know he also has a hilarious podcast, Talkin Shit, over on itunes, which is even more brutal!

P.S. Try not to be a cunt.

Souveneir Shop

Ah The Royal Wedding is almost upon us! You've bought your commemorative tea-towel, check. You've bought you're commemorative  biscuit selection, check. Still feel inadequate? Hmm, well how about the following tasteful ideas. First up is the the perfect manicure option, The Royal Wedding Nail Decals! Just don't pick your nose with them on, it wouldn't be right...

Nice, eh? Still wanna go that little bit further? Well, how about going all the way, balls deep one might say, with The Crown Jewels, Condoms Of Distinction. Oh yes. As they so eloquently put it... "Lie back and think of England". Pure class! See their website HERE.

Make mine "King Size" please! (Prr-tshh!!!)

Meet The Guano Guys!

To all the well built ladies out there, it's your lucky day! Here in the dating section of The Gallery we have found another absolute hottie for ya! Meet F 4024, or as I like to call him simply, F. Apparantly he is a sexy bachelor escort, and keen to prove it! Doesn't say which part he is prepared to prove though. Probably the bachelor part. I'm being mean here, obviously anyone hooking up with this cool cat is in for quite a swingin' guy!

Let's taste a slice of that good life.

22 Apr 2011

It's Lecture Time!

Here's an interesting lecture on the science of morality. No don't skip on to the next post about poo or something, stay here!! It's a TED lecture, they have people talk about all kinds of cool and interesting ideas. Click on TED to visit their site and see the full list. This one is by Sam Harris, a neuroscientist and religious critic, talking about the question of morality outside the world of religion and inside the world of science and reason. Trust me, it's interesting...

Just been trawling through all the TEDTalks, (there's 926 of them!), and picked out the ones which I found interesting for ya! The following one is A MUST, really gets you thinking... It's sociologist Sam Richards talking about empathy...

Here are some more talks you may enjoy...
james randi takedown of psychic fraud,  clear as ever,
michael shermer on believing strange things, a fun debunker,
beau lotto optical illusions, shows how we are all flawed,
richard dawkins on our queer universe, simply the guv'nor,
dan dennett's response to rick warren, a jolly philosopher!
I know probably none of you will watch all these videos, but at least try the Sam Richards one!
End of lecture. Class dismissed!

Twat Of The Week

It's not every day you see a zombie winnie the pooh twat is it? Is it??

That's gotta be the biggest camel-toe I have ever seen!

21 Apr 2011

Shopping Time!

Seen this and thought of you guys! It's a nifty little camera, only 2 megapixels but it also records video. I am bursting to play with one, but can't exactly justify buying one. So... guess what my 4 year-old is getting for his birthday next month!! It aint that expensive anyway, the cheapest I seen it is £15 on lovely lovely eBay! It runs on a MicroSD card and charges directly through your computer ...nnice! Go on, admit it, you want one, don't you!

20 Apr 2011

Perfectly Opposite

This short film aint for skipping, people! It's only 3 minutes long, and you will like it, trust me!
Couldn't be a simpler piece of art to watch, just something to make us think about the human desire for symmetry, and how beautiful imperfect matches can be.

19 Apr 2011

Things are a bit wild and crazy at the moment, I'll try and post something tomorrow!

18 Apr 2011

Blowing Up Children

More kiddy related fun for you! Oh how the neighbours will talk!
Don't know where this is, but somewhere in the world they have decided to advertise a new bubble-gum, Big-Bloom in fact, by floating up a small child on a bubble they've inflated!
Take a peek at the picture first before I explain...

Sorry to burst the bubble, (prr-tshh!!), but the child is just a fake! Just a life-size kid model, but nontheless this was a marvellous bit of advertising!

15 Apr 2011

Little Angel Cake?

(I almost called this post "Crumpet For Paedos" ...but that would be just wrong!)
"Oh I love kids. Mind, I couldn't eat a whole one!" ...an old joke which does't seem to have been heard by the following guys! The strangest thought that springs to my mind is that it looks like they've started eating it from the bottom. The dirty perverts.

Funnily enough I cut my two year old sons hair today with my wallpaper scissors, and managed to finish without cutting his ear (unlike last time). Well done me! But watching this has made me cringe quite a lot! By the way, is this a Victoria cake? Only it looks distinctly like a boy to me.

12 Apr 2011

Now There Are Some Spoons...

Hands up who hated the two Matrix sequels, but were still left hungry for more?
Right, I've just lost most you viewers there! (Well over two people!)
For the remaining person still reading, I just found this trailer for an upcoming release, a fan-film set in the same world, seen from the perspective of some new characters. Have a peek...

The cinematic quality looks a bit iffy, as admittedly does the film and premise, but hey, I'm a junkie so any kind of Neo-related hit is worth finding a vein for!

11 Apr 2011

Kids Say The Funniest Things...

Except this one. Reckon dad's gonna be in major trouble when mum gets home... 

9 Apr 2011

Hat Looks Painful!

There's a tatty TV show on at the moment showcasing numerous embarrassing and painful ailments found on the Accident & Emergency wards in the U.K.. With so many to choose from, I thought I'd show off the most excruciating one for you to watch...

What an excruciating tit.

6 Apr 2011

Meet The Guano Guys!

Ladies ladies ladies! It's your lucky day!!! Are you looking for sexy single guys in your area? Preferably ones with use of a trailer, just on weekends? Well look no more, because here at The Guano Gallery we have found some of the hottest hunks around, simply itching to get their freak on! And they certainly don't get any itchier or freakier than this great catch...

What possible lady could say no to staying in for a quiet night of "pro photog.", and maybe even giving him a good brush! Rrrrr!!

Desert Island Discs

#2: Jacques Brel. Call me a melodramatic, call me a big girls bra, call me a tosser, call me whatever you will, but this, is perfect...

Not bad for a Frenchie!!

2 Apr 2011

Piece Of Piss

Some advice now for the man-about-town. There are a certain breed of gentry that for one strange reason or another are hesitant to relieve their call of nature al-fresco, as it were. Beats me why! Anyhoo, here are a few pointers, for getting your pointer out...

....aand zzip, it's back in the undies!!